oh god the rape fog is back!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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