Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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