I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
