How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
