She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize