using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
