I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
jump out the window naked night went bad
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize