3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
