how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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