But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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