It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
