U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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