Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
