RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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