If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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