I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
