love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
