His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
