But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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