It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
