Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
organizing the empties. That sober.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
