Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
