i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
