the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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