just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
