problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
