I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
