I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We were destined to go to rehab together
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
