So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Randomize
