I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
