I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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