Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
