I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
