we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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