We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
