If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
