I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I got her a Nickelback box set.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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