D3 body, D1 cock
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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