she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
