If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
