I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
