He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
