'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
