also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
