When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
