"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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