i don't like sucking hair
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize