I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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