this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
