Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Small penises have feelings too.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize