I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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