I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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