but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
