Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
