My nipple is on Facebook.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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