Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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