The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
honey bunches of taint.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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