well you can't waste a boner
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
