Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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